Sanctified Sections

Years ago, I was introduced to a book that would irrevocably alter my warped, worldly thinking and set me on a new path to appropriate my identity according to God’s Word. That book was The Common Made Holy by Neil Anderson and the Freedom in Christ Ministry. A book that opened my eyes and heart to the idea of sanctification on a very practical level. A book that I recently picked up, reminded me of an important principle found in Anderson’s book.

The importance of relationships in our sanctification process. The Lord uses relationships with others to sanctify US!

Ohhh! So that’s why relationships can be so difficult - they touch areas that we would prefer remain untouched! YES! Some relationships more than others seem to touch such areas. And some relationship-seasons (husband-wife, parent-child, friend-friend, employer-employee, etc…), are more challenging than others at different times.

While we have a tendency to (more comfortably) focus on the OTHER person’s need for sanctification during a difficulty, we must be careful to follow the command to work out our OWN salvation, or sanctification, with fear and trembling. The principle and application of “the log and the speck” has transformative power – personal transformation and relational transformation. Sounds difficult but desirable, yes? Yet many of us settle for the paralysis created by neatly placing blame and guilt on the other party, ignoring our own participation and contribution to an often relationally polarizing process.

So let’s first look at the WHY question. Why do many of us have a tendency to solely settle for seeing others as the incessant thorn in our side and ourselves as victims? This is a big question and the answer requires expanding our thinking, which translates into exposure to ideas based on higher and deeper principles than those we may be currently operating under.

Where would I search for such principles? Among mere men and their wisdom? Perhaps as a starting point or a bridge to a greater source. Years ago, as a teenage atheist, I lived according to man’s wisdom and the wisdom the world valued. What was my primary source? Well… General Hospital, of course! Actually, GH was just one of many. I would now blush at the books, music, magazines, TV shows, and movies that shaped my futile and foggy thinking in those days. The results and consequences are not appropriate to share here, however, it was through these that a search began, a decision was made, and a line was drawn. My greater source was Him and my primary source of truth was to be God’s Word from that day forward.

So here is a perhaps new sanctification idea, drawn by men from God’s word, that I have found worthy to ponder on my own journey in the fertile fields of relationships.

For lack of a more creative term I will call this grid … Sanctification Sections and over a few blog posts, I hope the idea will take a firmer shape in your mind and heart.

Place this four-section table over your own heart – thinking of what you know or see about your OWN heart.

	What others see/know	What others do NOT see/know
What I see/know…	Best Section contains what I know and allow others to see about me. I share what I know to be the BEST about me with others.	Behind-the-Scenes section secret part of my life – * positive (specific acts and disciplines that cultivate a strong and healthy Christian life)  * negative (sin, struggles, thoughts, fleshly weaknesses not shared or trusted to others)
What I do NOT see/know	Blind Section Yikes! Others can see things about me I am BLIND to (pride, self-reliance, consequences of media choices, etc)… BUT with safe, mature counselors, I humbly allow these areas to be brought to my conscience to be transformed & sanctified.	Buried Section Again, there are things I don’t know about my own heart, and others don’t either – degrees of pride, selfishness, self-reliance, tendency to spiritualize, denial, hiding, blaming, … Sanctification seeks to reduce this “section” too!

Table adapted from Listening for Heaven’s Sake.

Can these ideas help your family along sanctification’s way? It sure has mine! Does this help provide a framework for a dialog of truth and grace? I am working on it!

So the question NOW becomes a HOW question. How do you and I move from our comfortable habit of neatly tying up all relational distress as due to the other person, to soberly and accurately allowing the Lord to poke around in our own hearts?

There are cautions and considerations as we learn How. Let’s unpack these ideas a bit… more in blog posts to come.

Sanctified, Set Apart... the Next Generation

To Danielle (a close family friend and special young woman to me) on your 19th Birthday...

This landmark year encompasses your transition from the teen years into your twenties. While I will always have memories of our first meeting - you as an energetic and tenacious ten year old, the young woman you have become over these past ten years is most remarkable.

I marvel at your strength to make difficult yet God-pleasing choices in the current culture. I pray for your continued strength, Danielle, as the years ahead continue to require more of the same -strength, as well as wisdom, discernment and grace.

Remember He is the potter, you are the clay. As you cross into this next decade of your life, may the Lord continue the good work He has begun in you.

All my love and grace,

Heather

Meet Mary Ann Smith, a Sanctified Woman

A son of a widow, my husband, Ed,  is the fifth of five children.  My husband's mother, Mary Ann Smith, was widowed when she was five months pregnant with Ed and caring for her four other children ranging from ages 15yrs to 2 yrs of age.

Talk about a sanctified woman, Mary Ann Smith's life has modeled trust and dependence upon the Lord. Even in the darkest of times, she has chosen Him.

Over the years, we (Ed and I) have come to possess the precious four minute video reels of Mary Ann and her young children.  After inquiring on the cost to transfer some old 8mm video reels to DVD, this past December my husband and I took the task on ourselves.  Over a few days, we transferred some old 4 minute video reels (no sound) to DVD format, adding sound. Creating a tribute to Mary Ann Smith, to her life and sacrifice for her children.  After losing her husband, she raised all five children without remarrying until her youngest was twenty-one years of age.

While the video process was tedious, this past Christmas, with all five adult children present along with several grandchildren, the memories and appreciation were worth all the toil and effort.  Tears of joy and gratitude flowed...

Here is a great picture of Mary and her five children - all adults now with their own children and one even has their own grandchildren!

While I am not able to load the video right now, I am able to share some precious pictures of Mary Ann Smith, her youngest son's family (that would be us!) and other special moments from 2008.

I've been tagged...

This is most interesting - this whole idea of tagging!  Everyone wants to be "it" don't they!?!

Thanks Beth (Pages of our Life) for tagging me - this should be fun, revealing and enlightening - and all at the same time!

Random and weird - ambiguous and relative terms...  therefore I will take the liberty where I find wiggle room... 

Let me do this countdown style...

7... I have completed 4 half marathons, 2 spring triathlons, and 1 olympic triathlon - all after turning 35 years old!

6... I was a bit of a radical "feminist" (in the N.O.W. sense of the word) and a self-proclaimed atheist, until the Lord go a hold of me at age 19.

5... During our long-distance "courting days", my husband, born and bred in Mississippi, sent me the following personal ad in the mail...

Man looking for good woman who loves hunting, fishing, and digging worms; has most of her teeth and owns a boat and trailer. Please send picture (of boat and trailer).

I knew I had a good man!

4... I lived in Saudi Arabia for two years when I was 9 and 10 years old.  My extracurricular activities were belly dancing and synchronized swimming!

3... After finding out I was pregnant with our second child (1997), I turned down two job promotions (that would have taken me close to a six figure salary) within six months of each other... When my second child was three months old I resigned to stay home full-time.  Hmm... is this the same gal from #6? Yes and no.

2... I don't really cook (or decorate or "do lunch" or shop or garden).  Saturday evenings (sacred family Saturdays, I call them) we have our "feast" for the week. My husband mans the grill almost every Saturday (rain or shine, sun or snow) and grills enough meat to make two good left-over meals.  The other couple of nights of during the week the kids make easy Mexican meals or sandwiches.  Friday night is our classical spaghetti night (not sure this really counts as cooking), and Sunday afternoon/evenings are our breakfast dinners. My motto - simplicity!

1... I NEVER thought I would EVER be home schooling.  I kicked and screamed the first few years, shed many tears, even filled out school papers a few times.  And now I wish I hadn't been such a baby... The fruit, lifestyle, and strength it has brought to myself and my family is beyond description; more than I could have asked or imagined.

Here are the BLOGs or places I have randomly listed!

One Smart Mama

Funny Farm

Planted by streams

Journey to Learn

His by Design

Chaffee's

Looking Toward Heaven

Our Trip to Jamestown

We're back!  From Great Wolf Lodge (GWL) in Williamsburg, VA to touring Jamestown - the Shirley family had a wonderful trip!

If you haven't heard about Classical Conversations annual GWL in Williamburg Deal every September, you are missing out!  Loads of family fun at 1/3 of the price! It is during Williamsburg's homeschool week, which is usually around the 2nd full week of September!  We see other CC friends and home schoolers from across the nation!

Due to the fun I was having a the GWL water park - I have no pictures of our time at the water park.  However, Jamestown is a different story!  I mean Jamestown was fun too, but I actually have pictures :).

Jamestown is the first permanent English settlement in the new world. It was founded in 1607.

Celebrating the Next Generation...

Special family friends... Our families met in 1999 and as a result our lives have been much richer.

I met Danielle when she was 9 years old and she has held a special place in my heart over the years.  From hosting one of her Disciple Now Weekends at my home to being honored to be her True Love Waits mentor,  investing and sharing in Danielle's life has been very important to me and my family. I now look forward to sharing in her adult years.

Back in May, we celebrated Danielle's Graduation and 18th B-day in style. I have finally gotten around to creating the slide show!

Investing in the next generation... Is there anything more precious?

The Great Get-A-Way

For the last few years a couple of special friends and I and all our kids get away!

We have fun, relax, read, make memories, and enjoy the beauty of God's creation!

This year was no different - check out the slide show!

This year...

We rode the waves hard,

Learned how to manage "chaffing" a bit better,

Refereed kids "considering others",

Celebrated the b-day of the first teenager among us,

Chocolate dumplings (yes - chocolate!),

Girls cooking the big, birthday breakfast,

Beach runs to the pier and back,

Kite flying, putting together puzzles and guitar playin',

Waited, and waited, and waited for a magical sea turtle hatch,

Laughed until we cried,

Hebrew/Genesis experiences,

Flashlight walks on the beach,

Mark Daniel enjoying the beach (fully!),

Swapped recipes and cooking tips,

Shared home schooling, mothering and life tips and stories,

and much, much more!

Favorite beach quote:

Rachel "My hair is a wreck!"

Thank you Erin and Sheila - these are special days!

Matters of the Heart

I once asked a veteran home school mother "What is the most important thing you have learned, now that you have graduated your four children from your home school?" She pondered my question and answered thoughtfully, "Many times I focused more on my children's behavior and character, than on their heart. So I would say learning to emphasize the importance of what is going on in the heart of my children versus trying to address only symptoms, which are behavior and character." Her response was a golden nugget of wisdom the Lord dropped along my mothering path that I will never forget.

Knowing that man can only see the outward appearance and only the Lord can truly know a person's heart (I Samuel 16:7) - I made it a consistent and intentional part of my parenting to beseech the Lord for His wisdom. I knew I needed His wisdom to give me insight into the hearts of my children in order to best guide, teach, correct, encourage, and affirm each one.

The current parenting trend is to address behavior only, or to over teach character. While these are an important part of parenting, alone they do not adequately deal with the "root" of a persistant issue a child is manifesting. The heart is where the root of any behavior and character issues lie. The responsibility of addressing such issues falls squarely on the shoulders of parents. This is a God-sized parenting assignment, and is not for the faint-hearted, or those that are easily intimidated. Jesus said that what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart. Only the Lord has the power to affect change in the heart of a person, and the Lord is faithful to hear and move on behalf of His humble and seeking people. So as parents we must intentionally and consistently seek such a posture before the Lord. Will you and I take the time?

Lesson for Life: God always knows what is going on in the heart of my child, even when I don't. Don't give up and give in to popular culture that says "It's a phase, it will pass...", this is a partial truth. Our children will go through phases, but it is our responsibility as parents to teach our children "wisdom's way" through these "phases". Seek Him for the answers of how to pray, respond, teach, affirm, and correct (Jer 33:3).

Lucrative Literature

Do you love reading? As C.S. Lewis wrote, can you not “get a cup of tea big enough or a book long enough to suit” your reading pleasure? Many would exclaim, “Yes!” But there are those students for whom reading is a task, a chore — should they persevere in their pursuit of the classics? Again, the answer is yes! Good literature engages, enlightens and instructs the lifetime learner.

First, a good book engages us. Beloved characters, whether real or fiction, take us beyond ourselves to places where we are bound by neither culture nor time. History’s places, people and plights come alive. Imaginations ignite. Learning takes place, while a heart of love and mind of wonder for all of God’s creation develops.

Second, literature exposes us to ideas that we can compare and contrast against the light of Scripture. In pondering good books, our students get practice analyzing and discerning what is good and noble and true in the world verses what is evil, vain, and deceptive. The more we analyze and discuss ideas, the better able we are to see through ideas to their presuppositions, their assumptions and ultimately their worldview — biblically-based or otherwise.

Finally, classic works instruct us in the arts of writing, speaking and living the Christian life. In Luke 6:45, the Bible tells us, “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good.” In other words, students who make a habit of reading books that are written eloquently and from a strong moral foundation will mature into thoughtful adults who speak knowledgeably, write eloquently, and live in a manner that works for their good and God’s glory.

So grab that cup of tea, find a quiet corner, and cozy up with a classic read today!

“Those of us who have been true readers all our life seldom fully realize the enormous extension of our being which we owe to authors.
We realize it best when we talk with an unliterary friend. He may be full of goodness and good sense but he inhabits a tiny world. In it, we should be suffocated. The man who is contented to be only himself, is in a prison. My own eyes are not enough for me. I will see through those of others.” ~ C.S. Lewis

excerpt from CC Conversations newsletter